Wednesday 25 September 2013

Naked Wines

From: rowan@nakedwines.co.uk
Date: 14 September 2013 10:31
To: Tim Broughton
Subject: Um...we owe you £154.33 of wine

Dear Tim,
We've got your money AND your wine. That is NOT good!
You save your money with us every month, but you haven't been online to see what you're paying for. I've tried calling you, but we seem to keep missing each other.
We owe you £154.33 of wine. And I?m starting to lose sleep over it...
I think it's time we gave you a little extra love. I know you're a busy person, so I have a no-nonsense proposal for you:
Give me one chance to get you some wines that?ll blow your socks off...
If I get it right, you get sensational wines, handpicked by someone who knows their stuff around your personal tastes, and I get a clean conscience.
If I get it wrong, I will refund you in full, immediately.
All you need to do is hit reply and say:
Yes please (plus any specific instructions e.g. Red/White only etc)
Kind regards,
Nikki Cook
Your very anxious Wine Advisor
Ps. If there's anything else I can sort out for you, or something that we need to put right, please let me know and I'll be more than happy to help you.


From: Tim Broughton
Date: 16 September 2013 12:24
To: rowan@nakedwines.co.uk
Subject: Re: Um...we owe you £154.33 of wine

Nikki, honey, don't worry about it. I'm in a strange place at the moment - doing my best hobo impression. Been surfing the couchwave for a couple of months now, whilst waiting to buy a house. Those wine bottles of yours (or technically mine) are mighty heavy and I've got enough to be shunting around from pillar to post.

Hey, join me on a little imaginary adventure, one that leads me to the front door of my new flat. And what's this in my hands? It's the keys! Yep, I'm opening the door and following an amorous chatter from the kitchen. And look who's there - it's all my pals who have kindly put me up for the last couple of months. Hurray! I've invited them round for dinner to say thanks and they all cheer when I walk into the room. And how do we celebrate? By cracking open the case or two from Naked wines! And now we're guzzly greedily the contents, laughing and cheering as the sprightly whites and robust wines splash over our faces, gushing down our torsos. And we're laughing and shrieking and now the cries are turning to screams and there's suddenly sharpness and and urgency to the curdling cries. And the red wine which sloshes across us seems tacky and syrupy and it isn't wine at all but bloo...

WOAH THERE, NIKKI!

WAY too far with the imaginery adventure!! WAY TOO FAR.

Anyway, don't worry. I'll be in touch to claim by bounty in due course.

Kind regards

Tim



From: rowan@nakedwines.co.uk
Date: 16 September 2013 15:28
To: Tim Broughton
Subject: Re: Re: Um...we owe you £154.33 of wine

Hi Tim, 

Thanks for your reply, can I consider this my invite?! 

Kind regards 
Nikki @ naked wines 

P.s If you need a hand with anything (wine related not removals) you know where we are! 



From: Tim Broughton
Date: 16 September 2013 17:37
To: rowan@nakedwines.co.uk
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Um...we owe you £154.33 of wine

Well that depends, Nikki.

On whether you are who you say you are... or are you ROWAN?

In all seriousness, of course you're invited. You can bring Rowan as well. Could could deliver the wine by hand! Now that's customer service. We could probably spin some publicity out of it - I can see the headlines now 'Kooky email leads to personal delivery of wine'. Hmmm, I'm clearly no journalist, but there's definitely something in it. 

Have your people sit down with my people for a speed powwow.

Tim



From: rowan@nakedwines.co.uk
Date: 17 September 2013 16:25
To: Tim Broughton
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Um...we owe you £154.33 of wine

Hi Tim, 

I've been called many things but never Rowan! Give me a shout when you have your new address and I'll make sure you get the right wines so your friends forgive you for all this sofa surfing! 

Nikki @ naked wines

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